Dan Vs Austin Moon
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: What starts off as an another ordinary day for Dan turns into anarchy when a famous rockstar comes to town. When an incident involving a milkshake effects Dan, he realizes what he must do to get back at the famous Austin Moon. And that's: REVENGE! An Austin & Ally/Dan Vs. crossover. Chapter 2 is up!
1. Chapter 1

**"Dan Vs. Austin Moon"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with "Dan Vs." or "Austin & Ally". Dan Vs. and its characters are owned by Starz Media and Austin & Ally and it's characters are owned by Disney Channel and It's A Laugh Productions. Anyway, I thought of this while watching some of my favorite Dan Vs. episodes, and I was thinking... what would happen if Dan had met Austin Moon? Well, this is what you get! So enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 1<strong>_

* * *

><p>Another hot day, another hot mess. That's what it was in the city. Other than that, things apparently get worse in this town.<p>

Especially when that _someone_ is named Dan. The short-statured malcontent spent all of his life alone inside his apartment in Casa Paradisio. But even though he was alone, he did have a little companion by the name of Mr. Mumbles, which by the way, was sleeping on top of Dan's head. When he purred, it felt a warm sensation tingling around Dan's body like he was resting on a massage chair.

Boy, did it feel so good.

That was until...

_*RING! RING! RING! RING! RING!*_

The alarm clock rang, which forced Mr. Mumbles to go crazy by attacking and scratching Dan right in the face!

"AGH! AGGGGH!" Dan screamed in pain.

After a few seconds of scratching Dan's face skin, Mr. Mumbles finally got off of him, which forced the malcontent to leap up out of bed and reach for the bathroom.

And when he got there, he checked the damage in the mirror. Luckily for him, the scratches weren't that deep. Just a few minor bruises here and there.

"Oh, that's just great," Dan rolled his eyes."That's perhaps the twentieth day I've been scratched. Must be a new record."

While he was trying to feel the scratches on his face, he overheard screaming going on outside. That kind of screaming coming from girls bothered Dan a bit.

"Oh, I can't wait to see what this is." Dan sighed as he ran to his bedroom window.

When he got to the window, he opened it up to see teenage girls standing around a huge line for some reason. They were holding signs of some pop star's face with words that said "I Love Austin" and "Austin, Marry Me" attached to them. Dan became highly annoyed.

"HEY, WOULD YA MIND SHUTTING UP?!" Dan shouted to the girls, "I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!"

However, Dan's angry cries fell on deaf ears. It was like those screaming fangirls were ignoring the elephant in the room. And Dan was that elephant. But still, Dan wasn't giving up.

"HEY, SHUT THE HELL UP!" Dan screamed yet again.

Still, nothing happened. It's like the girls were ignoring Dan.

This fueled Dan's anger so much that he put on his usual blue pants and a black t-shirt that had the words "JERK" on it. He officially marched outside and confronted the fangirls himself.

"I'M GIVING YOU ONE MORE CHANCE," Dan screamed again, "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE SO I CAN SLEEP!"

Third time was finally the charm as two of the fangirls (which one of them looked like Dove Cameron and Debby Ryan) finally turned their attention to Dan.

"Aw, look at him!" The blonde said, "He's so cute!"

"Yeah, he reminds me of a little troll!" The redhead squealed.

"Aw, thanks!" Dan blushed from the compliment, "That really makes me-"

However, when he realized that the red-headed fangirl called him a troll, Dan snapped at her.

"Hey, I'm no troll!" Dan pointed at the Debby Ryan lookalike. "I'm very proud of the way that I look! Anyway, what's up with all your screaming?"

"We're screaming because Austin Moon's gonna be in town, and he's gonna be at a record store to sign our stuff!" The Dove Cameron lookalike spoke to Dan, "I hope he'll sign my bra."

"You mean I had to wake up to hear screaming demons cheer for some blonde-haired fart?" Dan reacted. "I'm not having it!"

But suddenly, the rest of the fangirls all gasped at Dan's comment. It was almost like they were offended. Which by the way, they were.

"Ahh, he called Austin Moon a fart!" One fangirl gasped.

"How dare somebody call him a fart?!" The other fangirl said.

"Let's kick his ass!"

"Oh no..." Dan gulped as a bunch of angry fangirls began cornering him around his car.

But before he could beg for mercy, Austin Moon's fangirls started beating Dan up with their fists and feet! Dan kept on screaming in pain as the force of those fists kept on slamming his abdomen, arm and his already scratched-up face. Dan tried to stand up on his own two feet, but the beatdown that the fangirls gave him carried over to Dan's car. He was cornered at the hood of the car with no way to escape and no way to break out the melee.

"OWWWWWW!" Dan yelled, "THAT'S MY FACE! GET OFF OF ME, YOU PRISSY MONKEY!"

While Dan tried to fight off the fangirls to no avail, the fangirls were cut off by the sound of a horn. When they turned around, the women were shocked at who was standing behind them.

"AHHHHHH, IT'S AUSTIN MOON!" The blonde fangirl screamed.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S HERE!" The red-headed fangirl screamed as well.

Appearing alongside the angry fangirls was Austin Moon, who popped out from his tour bus window with a shake in his hand.

"Hey ladies," Austin smirked, "Nice to see you all! Who wants my chocolate shake?"

"WE DO! WE DO!" The fangirls all yelled as they finally got off Dan.

From there, the females all waved their hands, hoping that they would likely catch Austin's tasty treat. For Dan, he finally sighed in relief as he tended to his hurt body.

Austin on the other hand, extended his arm like a quarter back.

"Okay, this one's going all out!" Austin smirked.

With perfect accuracy, Austin Moon threw the milkshake to the fans...

...

...

...which ended up landing on Dan's entire forehead, knocking him out cold.

This left the rest of the fangirls disappointed to be honest.

"Oh great, the troll got it." The red-headed fangirl groaned.

"That sucks," The blonde fangirl groaned as well, "I wanted it!"

"Relax everyone," Austin smiled at everyone. "There's enough free milkshakes to go around! I'll be giving them out at the record store just two blocks away! Just follow me, ladies!"

Hearing the part about the free milkshakes, the screaming fangirls got off of Dan and followed the traveling tour bus. While they left, Dan was left all alone on the top of his car.

Shockingly, he felt something drip from the top of his forehead. Was it blood? Did the fangirls beat him up so bad that actual blood was dripping from his forehead? As if the scratches to his face wasn't enough to begin with. Dan took his head and wiped up the goopy stuff from his forehead.

Much to his surprise, the goopy stuff...

...

...

...was contents of the strawberry milkshake itself.

"Oh no, he didn't..." Dan scowled, "How dare that blonde fart do this to me! How dare he sick his minions to gang up after me! Well, I'm not having it! And that leaves me only one thing to do at a time like this..."

With his fists clenching and his blood boiling to a breaking point, he screamed to the air in rage:

_"AUSTIN MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"_

* * *

><p><strong>Well, this is gonna sound interesting. I mean, an Austin &amp; AllyDan Vs. crossover? Why didn't I think of it?  
><strong>

**How will Dan plot his revenge against Austin Moon? We'll find out in the next chapter! Until then, feedbacks are welcome! ^^**


	2. Chapter 2

**"Dan Vs. Austin Moon"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with "Dan Vs." or "Austin & Ally". Dan Vs. and its characters are owned by Starz Media and Austin & Ally and it's characters are owned by Disney Channel and It's A Laugh Productions. Anyway, I thought of this while watching some of my favorite Dan Vs. episodes, and I was thinking... what would happen if Dan had met Austin Moon? Well, this is what you get! So enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 2<strong>_

* * *

><p>Dan was furious. He was livid. Heck, he was mad as hell and he wasn't gonna take it anymore. How dare that blonde-haired priss by the name of Austin Moon dump his milkshake on him? Of course, the popstar didn't notice that his drink landed on the malcontent himself. Apparently, it would've hit the garbage can next to Dan's car. Truth was, Austin had a lousy throw.<p>

Wiping off the rest of the milkshake texture from his hair and shirt, Dan looked two blocks far ahead to see Austin Moon's tour bus stop at a record store near Ninja Dave's Cookies, one of Dan's favorite hot spots.

"Thanks to that blonde-headed fart, I'm gonna be sticky." Dan muttered in anger. "No one dumps milkshake on me! Unless I do it to Chris, than it's fine!"

So after a quick change of clothes, Dan had to stand behind the row of fangirls (who were standing in line to meet Austin Moon at the music store) who beat the crap out of him. Luckily, they didn't even notice him this time around. It's like Dan became some sort of ghost. And that's the way Dan wanted it after all the crap that's happened to him lately.

"Hurry it up, hurry it up, hurry it up, hurry it up...!" Dan muttered to himself, hoping that Austin Moon's fangirls wouldn't hear him.

After minutes of waiting in line, he heard someone's voice behind him.

"Dan?!"

Hearing this, Dan suddenly turned around to see Chris and Elise standing there in line with him. But something was different about them to be exact.

"Chris? Elise?" Dan gasped, "What the hell are you wearing?!"

"Oh, it's our Austin Moon t-shirts!" Chris exclaimed, "Elise is such a huge fan of his music, so I figured I'd take her to sign his autograph."

"Yeah," Elise nodded. "I never knew you listened to Austin Moon too."

"Oh come on, only braindead turds would wanna listen to that blonde-haired fart!" Dan snarled at Elise. "And I'm not a braindead turd!"

"Well, you're sorta acting like one." Elise smirked.

"Like anyone cares what you think!" Dan scoffed, "I'm taking revenge on Austin Moon for dumping his milkshake on me."

"Well, he can't help it being a rockstar and all." Chris replied, coming in the conversation.

"That's what's wrong with celebrities these days." Dan pointed out, "They don't care where they put their trash! Doesn't anyone care about saving the planet? That's way more important than someone showing their crotch rot when they get out of the car! And Austin's gonna think twice about putting his crotch where it doesn't belong!"

"Well, that was very sick of you..." Chris rolled his eyes as the trio started waiting.

**_One hour and thirty minutes later..._**

Dan, Chris and Elise made it half-way through the line. Hard to believe it was a very long time. Chris grew a little tired while Elise still stood with glee. Dan on the other hand, was growing more impatient as time kept passed on.

"Come on," Dan muttered in anger. "MOOOOOOVE IT!"

"Dan, be patient." Elise replied to Dan. "They're moving it as fast as it gets!"

"I swear if I had a flame-thrower, I would blow past these cretins so I would get to Austin Moon!" Dan said, forming his fist in anger.

"Yeah, by then, you'd actually put the entire music store on fire and not to mention us." Elise mentioned to the small malcontent.

"It'd be worth the shot." Dan rolled his eyes from her comment. "Any minute now..."

**_30 minutes later..._**

Both Dan, Chris and Elise were still standing on the same place where they were waiting in line. Hard to imagine that they didn't move for the amount of time that was passed. They felt like statues all of a sudden. But Dan on the other hand, didn't want to be a statue for so long.

He couldn't take waiting anymore, so he finally decided to break.

"That does it!" Dan shouted, "I'm not waiting for that fart anymore!"

In response, Dan decided to shove every Austin Moon fangirl on the way to the store. After all, waiting impatiently was for babies (in Dan's opinion). While Dan was getting everyone out of the way, Elise and Chris (who woke up, BTW) followed their friend inside.

Dan started shoving them one-by-one until Dan finally got to the popstar, who by the way, was finished signing an autograph for a 11-year old girl.

"There you go!" Austin said to the girl as he handed her his autograph. "Something to remember this day!"

"Thank you so much, Austin!" The little girl squealed, "I can't wait to put this on my Austin shrine!"

After the little girl walked away happily, Austin called on the next customer.

"All right, who's next?"

To his surprise, the next customer was Dan. He didn't look too pleased to see the fantastic Austin Moon to be exact.

"Hey, little boy!" Austin said to the malcontent "You here for my autograph?"

"LITTLE BOY?!" Dan gasped angrily. "I am no little boy, you fart! If I was a child, don't you think I have this soulpatch on my chin? I'm a grownup, damn it!"

Suddenly, that single fact from Dan made Austin Moon stumped as hell.

"Huh, I thought you had dirt on your chin." Austin smirked.

"I simply do not!" Dan snapped at him again.

"Okay then," Austin nodded. "Do you want an autograph or what?"

"What I do want is for you to leave this forsaken city!" Dan pointed to the popstar.

"Um, you know I can't do that to my fans," Austin smirked again. "I'm actually performing in this city tomorrow. It's my world tour and you know I can't let my fans down."

"They'll live," Dan smirked. "To make things easier, I'm gonna give ya the count of 10 to leave this store and this town. If you don't reply to my demands, I'll have no choice but to des-"

Somehow, Dan was cut off by a girl's voice.

"Hey Austin!"

The malcontent then turned to his shoulder to see a pretty brunette latch onto Austin's shoulder. Dan couldn't believe the moment that she saw her. Such pretty brown hair, complete with a baby blue tank top and tight black jeans that complete figure. With the hint of cherry going around her body, Dan decided to play lady-killer by smoothing his hair and approaching the girl, which was named Ally by the way.

"Well well well, you must be Ally Dawson." Dan smirked, "Name's Dan, a.k.a. Mr. Funky Kat. Why don't you say that you ditch this blonde-headed zero and go with this handsome hot-headed hero for a tasty turkey sub? I'm buying."

Suddenly, Ally looked down at Dan and let out a light-hearted chuckle.

"Well, look at you, little boy!" Ally squealed, "You looking to want Austin's autograph?"

"Oh no, I'm just looking to-" Dan said, before he realized what Ally said. "HEY, I'M NO CHILD! LIKE I SAID, I'M A GROWN MAN!"

"Wow, someone's a little testy." Ally groaned. "Anyway, you got some dirt on your chin."

"IT'S A DAMN SOULPATCH, YOU STUPID BITCH!" Dan shouted at Ally.

"Hey, you can't talk to my girlfriend like that!" Austin said, standing up for Ally.

"I can talk to anyone I want, you blonde-headed fart!" Dan snapped at Austin. "By the way, your music sucks way worse than what Ally does in the bedroom!

Seeing how that comment offended him, Austin grabbed a walkie-talkie in his pants.

"Security, can you escort this _little kid_ out of here?" He replied.

"You're kicking me out?!" Dan pointed to Austin. "You can't kick me out! I'm standing my ground here! I ain't leaving until that so called popstar leaves too! I'm serious! You can't silence me."

Luckily for Austin, his security crew came out and acted like a wall, protecting both him and Ally. Even more luckily for Austin, Dan wasn't even thinking of hitting him anyway. Anyway, if Austin were to provoke him by any matter, Dan would use violence.

"Sir, we don't want any trouble." The security guard spoke to Dan, "But we kindly ask you to leave this music store please. Don't make us use force on you."

Dan knew there was no way out of this. So the smart thing to do for him was retreat for now.

"This isn't over, Austin Moon!" Dan yelled at him as he was leaving. "Just you wait and see!"

But as soon as Dan started to leave, someone in a yellow shirt, green pants and suspenders around his waist stood in the doorway and shouted over to Austin. This guy of course, went by the name of Dez.

"Hey Austin, these oatmeal chocolate chunk cookies down at Ninja Dave's are insane!" Dez shouted.

However, Dez looked down to Dan with such curiosity in his face.

"Hey, why does this little boy have hair on his face?" Dez shouted.

"HOW DARE YOU, BUTTMONKEY?!" Dan shouted to Dez, as he clenched his fist tightly...

...

...

...and punched Dez straight in the jimmy-junk region!

"OHHHH, SWEET SHAWN MICHAELS, THAT HURTS!" Dez squealed in pain as Dan finally left for the house.

In Dan's mind, something told him that this rivalry between him and Austin wouldn't be quite over yet.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, that was a bit interesting. It seems that Dan isn't gonna let this one go, I assume. What will he plan against the rockstar in the chapters to come?<br>**

**Until then, feedbacks are welcome, members of the Dandom! ^^**


End file.
